21 June 2013

Senior Home Livin'


You know you work at a retirement home when…

The most action you got was an old man saying “How are you today, besides beautiful”.

You get called ‘cookie’ forty times an hour by a screeching Jewish woman with lipstick on her cheek.

You make a medal for a grouchy woman for being “The best walker and simultaneous ice cream eater” in order to motivate her to take her ice cream to her room so that you can go home on time.

Everyone complains that the coffee is too strong and not hot enough. 

“The chef is so nice! I wonder if he’s got a girlfriend” said woman 1
“ Oh stop it, it’s none of our business”, said woman 2. “I wouldn’t want to crawl in bed with him though, he’d take up the whole thing!”
“ You’re horrible, but I’ve wondered how that’d work...”, said woman 2

You let your farts flow free because there are eighty people who are four times your age you can blame it on.

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