Citrusy

Sometimes life gives you lemons. Or it gives you oranges. Heck, it could even be limes. But you know, you should just make a t shirt design out of it. My brother and I started a t shirt company The Food Porn T Shirt Co. This is one of my favorite designs. We're taking it to the printers in the next upcoming weeks and will hopefully be able to sell them by the beginning of October. 

Broc Balls

Need to satisfy a craving for meatballs but are feeling vegetarian? 

Here's an option that doesn't taste like meat at all... But they are delicious!

1 head of broccoli

1 cup spinach

1 cup chopped almonds

1 cup parmesan cheese

3 cloves garlic

1/4 cup olive oil

basil, salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350. Put all the ingredients (broccoli first) together in a food processor and blend until mostly smooth. Add the almonds last so that they don't get too fine. Grease a muffin tin and plop in the broc ball mixture. Bake for about 35 minutes or until they're lightly browned. Serve with spaghetti or on a hoagie with marinara sauce for a vegetarian meatball sandwich!

Go Home Banana, You're Drunk

A shot for the muffins, a shot for me... A shot for the muffins and a shot for me. These vegan whiskey soaked banana muffins are delicious for a pep-up in the morning or a night cap in the evening. You'll enjoy them anytime, and not just because you're drunk.

2 over ripe bananas
2 shots whiskey (or a little bit more..)
2 cups flour
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 cup white sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup soy milk
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
little bit of salt

Yields 12 muffins

Mix all together and put in a greased muffin tin. Bake at 350 for about 35-40 minutes and serve with whiskey and/or coffee.

David Asser, Phoenix food critic: "These muffins are scandalous"

Me-So Pink, Soup

Now, what girl and fem boy doesn't love a pink soup?

About 6 stalks of beet greens and the pink stem part too
half a red onion, chopped
a clove of garlic, chopped
About 3 tbsp miso paste
1 cup vegetarian broth
1 cup water
pinch of cumin seeds
salt, pepper,
1 package Top Ramen noodles, or any other asiatic noodle
(fried tofu would be a good addition)

Caution, make sure to really clean off all the dirt from the beet greens. Chop and sauté all the beet greens and onion in the bottom of a large saucepan with olive oil. It should take about 15 minutes on medium heat for them to soften up. This should also turn your soup pink! Once slightly tender add the broth, spices, garlic and water and let simmer for another 15-20 minutes. Then once the soup is lightly simmering add in the miso paste. Submerge the clumps and stir in for about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, break apart your Ramen noodles in the bottom of a bowl. Once fully satisfied with your soup, pour it over the noodles and cover the bowl with a plate or something until they are softened (like 3 minutes). And voila! A vegetarian, almost vegan, soup that'll make you feel like you just watched a rom-com.

The Green Monster

Like all expensive things, avocados are delicious.

Here's a little dish I whipped with what other ingredients I could afford

2 avocados
juice of half a lemon
2 sprigs of green onion (the whole thing) finely chopped
splash of balsamic vinegar
tsp. parmesan cheese
salt
pepper

Mix it and put it on some toast.
Then triple the recipe.

123 Cold Cucumber Soup

3 cucumbers

2 cups greek yogurt

1 sprig mint

splashes of olive oil and lemon juice

This is a recipe passed down from my boss and is the perfect remedy to a hot day.
Take all the ingredients and throw them in a blender. Blend until smooth and garnish with your herb of choice. For a smoother texture, peel and take out the seeds. By using the basic cucumber and yogurt base, you can most definitely play around with different flavors. Try a bit paprika, or parsley and chive!

Holy Grilled Cheese, Batman!

Who Cut the Cheese?

2 slices delicious bread
2 slices pepper jack cheese
sautéed spinach, red bell peppers and onions
pesto and/or hummus of choice
avocado slices

Butter the assembled sandwich and grill 'em up just like mama did.

Criks n Coolers

Patio livin' with Arnold Palmer coolers

Just do it : Add rum to the pre-made Arnold Palmer Arizona Tea.

Oak Creek, Sedona

New Yawk Chilis

Breaking US ground with a lovely New York layover spent reminiscing in Indian food paradise with a delightful old friend!

Animal Sounds

moooo

quack quack

beeeeaahhh

oink oink

Pescetarian Paella

12 large shrimps
2 kilo of mussels
8 sea snails
saffron oil
paella rice
1 red bell pepper
2 tomatoes
lots of garlic
1 onion
1 bottle of cheap white wine
salt, pepper and oregano
bouillon
fresh parsley

First cook the mussels by boiling a cup of water, a cup of wine and splash of saffron oil and steaming for about 15 minutes. Let cool. To cook the sea snails do the same but add a clove or two of garlic.

Remove the mussels and sea snails from their shells and place in a large pan of butter and garlic on low heat. Boil water and add a bouillon and wine. *Follow the quantity ratio on the package. Add the rice to the pan with the seafood, toast the rice (two minutes) and then slowly mix in the boiling bouillon water. Let simmer.

In a separate pan add all the veggies with oregano, olive oil, garlic, onion and saffron oil. Sauté. Once the rice is nice and fluffy, mix everything together and top with fresh parsley.

We all tried this and survived, even enjoyed it. Bon appetit!

Pasta Primavera

 

Post-beach, if you boil pasta in red wine, add tomato, onion, garlic, lots of basil and friends; you get a Montpellier Family Dinner.

The Experiment : E 'n R's Stovetop Apple Pie

Have a sweet tooth? Don't have an oven? Find yourself only having stale bread, apples, sugar and raisins? No worries, you've got a dessert!

Stale bread
Cream/Milk
Butter
2 Apples
Golden Raisins
Sugar
Tea bag of Chai Tea

In a large saucepan sauté up the chopped apples in a generous heap of butter and sugar. Meanwhile, soak the stale bread in a cup of Chai tea, milk (or cream and water) with more sugar. Once the apples look brownish, add the bread and golden raisins. Let simmer until a thick, pretty much disgusting consistency. Then in a separate sauté pan, melt some butter. That's right, Paula Deen style. Put your bread-apple mixture in the sauté pan patty-style and fry. This will create a 'crispy' texture. Add sugar to taste. And there you go, a heart attack without an oven!

Saag Paneer : The Knock-off

"Indian cuisine consists of thousands of regional cuisines which date back thousands of years. The dishes of India are characterised by the extensive use of various Indian spices, herbs, vegetables and fruit. Indian cuisine is also known for the widespread practice of vegetarianism in Indian society. Each family of Indian cuisine includes a wide assortment of dishes and cooking techniques. Indian cuisine also varies from region to region, reflecting the varied demographics of the ethnically-diverse subcontinent." - Wikipedia


This dish might be desecrating the ancient and sacred food practices of many Indian family recipes. But not all of us have time/ skill/ magic hands and must resort to refrigerator goodies.


1 bag of fresh spinach
1 cup of milk
half of an onion
clove of garlic
curry powder
queso fresco to taste
butter
flour (for thickening)
couscous or white rice


In a large saucepan blanch all the spinach (put spinach in hot salted water and take out once wilted). Take out and set to the side. Once cooled, cut into small slices. In the same saucepan melt a tablespoon of butter and slowly caramelize sliced onions and garlic with salt and pepper. Then add the milk, a ton of curry powder and let boil. Once slightly thickened add the flour little by little to thicken the mixture even more. Then add the spinach and let simmer. Add milk if too thick, if you do make sure to add more spices. Cube up the queso fresco to taste (watch out, it can get pretty salty). Mix and season to taste. Serve over couscous or white rice

Eating like a poor person...

Sweet Sour Carrot Soup

6 carrots
The carrot greens
A small onion
1/2 cup lentils
1/2 of a bouillon
Sesame seeds
Siracha sauce
Balsamic Vinegar
Salt, pepper, basil, butter

Sauté the carrots (sliced up) in butter. Add salt and pepper. After they are kind of soft and browned, add in the onion. Once those are caramelized, toss in the carrot greens. Add the half bouillon, lentils and water. Spice with basil. Simmer until the lentils are tender. Once they are nice and ripe, remove from heat. Sprinkle in sesame seeds, siracha and balsamic to taste. This meal cost me about 50 cents.

Red Hot Roasted Red Peppers-in-a-Soup

As inspired by Sarah J.

Far too many red peppers (like 6 - 7)
Bouillon
Garlic clove
Small onion
3 Dried hot peppers (or to taste)
Milk
Olive oil
Salt, pepper, oregano, basil

Roast the peppers by setting them straight on the burner. Any hot surface works really, just wait for them to get nice and blackened. In a medium saucepan sauté garlic and onion in olive oil on medium heat until golden. Add spices. Add bouillon and fill the pan halfway with water. Once all the peppers are all blackened, slice 'em up and add them to the soup. Add the sliced hot peppers. After a good 20 minutes of simmering add the milk (about 1 cup) and simmer just a bit longer. Pulverize and spice to taste.

Enjoy with bread and goat cheese (per usual).

Les Pâtes Ivres

Drunken Pasta

3-4 large mushrooms
1 onion
clove of garlic
butter
salt/pepper
parsley
rosemary
bottle of red wine
fresh pasta (not dried, although that works too)
parmesan

In the bottom of the large saucepan saute the onions and garlic together in the butter. Add the sliced mushrooms, salt and pepper. And maybe some more butter. Once that is all nice and almost crispy add half the bottle of wine and fill whatever space is left of the saucepan with water. Bring to a boil. Add the fresh pasta once the water is bubbling. Be careful not to overcook, it should only take about three minutes. Drain and serve with parmesan on top. Bon appetite!