Mug Shot

Roommates : Bah'ai

One late night Saturday, my roommate and I were deep in conversation when two guys started knocking on the neighbor's door. And continued. And continued. We peeked underneath our blinds to see what was going on and got caught. Finally, it's our door they were knocking on.
" Um, excuse us but could we borrow paper and pen? "
" Well, I don't know you " I said.
" It's Nicholas, Nico! "
" I don't know a Nico. "
" Well we're just trying to to leave a note for our friend. She's coming into town blah, blah, blah... Seattle... "
" Isn't that what phones are for? "
" Well he doesn't have one and I don't have the phone number. "
" This is kind of weird you know?"
" No no, we're non-threatening. We're bah'ai. Well, he is. "
" Ok, I don't care about your sexuality. "
" Ha no, it's a religion. We like three sexualities. "
I slowly got up to get an index card and pen. I opened the door.
" Do you have a sticky-note? "
" Dude, you're pushing it" said the other, " Maybe some tape? "
" No I don't. Put it in the screen door. "
I shut the door.

This has been a true story.
The End.

The Perks of Strep

I've come down with the sickness and now, after two shots in the bum, a bunch of antibiotics and salt rinses later, I have the time (a week) and energy away from work to reflect. This is what I've decided : having strep (besides the whole nasty bacteria in the back of my throat problem) was a great thing to have come into my life at this moment. Here's why :

• watching all eight Harry Potter's in a row
• getting back to sketching
• naps whenever I please
• writing
• a stay - (in bed) - cation
• lost about six pounds
• sitting with my roommate until 2 PM before finally actually doing something
• tea
• decorating my apartment
• the care of my mama and papa
• reading
• realizing this blog needed major TLC
• texting my mom and best friend a lot
• being in bed wrapped up in two comforters while the heat is set to 70
• having an excuse to be anti-social
• writing down my ideas

Perhaps most importantly, that in this whirlwind of working full time and being involved in many things and many lives I might not have focused on doing nothing and allowed my creative energy to shine through anymore. I missed starting projects and then eventually getting them done. I even missed pacing my personal space. I'm a creative person and I had lost that quite a bit. Forty hours a week is a lot to commit to a spot where you're there just to fill a role. I still love my job but I might need to remember that I love my not-job life more. I'd like to refocus on rebuilding that, even with a stuffy nose.

When Inspiration Strikes...

Share.

"Spiritual progress is a spiral advance. We start as infants in the animal eternity of life in the moment, without anxiety for the future or regret for the past; we grow up into the specifically human condition of those who look before and after, who live to a great extent, not in the present but in memory and anticipation, not spontaneously but by rule and with prudence, in repentance and fear and hope; and we can continue, if we so desire, up and on in a returning sweep towards a point corresponding to our starting place in animality, but incommensurably above it. Once more life is lived in the moment -- the life now, not of a sub-human creature, but of a being in whom charity has cast out fear, vision has taken the place of hope, selflessness has put a stop to the positive egotism of complacent reminiscence and the negative egotism of remorse. The present moment is the only aperture through which the soul can pass out of time into eternity, through which grace can pass out of eternity into the soul and through which charity can pass from one soul in time to another soul in time."

- Aldous Huxley, The Perennial Philosophy

La poule mouillée

There's a point in time when it's no longer cool to run away from your problems. Perhaps it's when you're using a walker or maybe it's when you look like a wimp, but there's definitely a time.
Life comes at you. And you better deal. And you better stick up for yourself and heck, you might as well even get what you want.

So remember to cliff jump. And to go to the beach. And do things you like.

This has been a personal pep talk.

Merci pour ta considération.

Criminal

I was in the newspaper. This is how it happened:

Dear Comedy Writing

Now I'm not quite sure I've made it quite clear enough yet but I will now. Besides being a traveler, student, worker and general person, I'd also like to be a comedy writer. Like, I'd get to hang out with Liz Lemon all day, shoot the shit, be hilarious and then get paid for it. Like, I'd get to drink Snake Juice with Amy Poehler. Normally, I would say this is ridiculous and a compulsive dream dreamt by most awkward college educated women BUT what you don't know is that I have an 'in'. Now is the best time to strike. The time is now for a lady to develop her sense of humor and get rich; look at Girls, zero to going-to-the-Grammy's in one season flat. It's now or never and I'm ready to throw my two cents into the Fountain of Funny...

It's a manila folder containing my most finest jokes and it starts like this:

Dear Kristin Wiig, (editor's note: she seems the most approachable of the contemporary SNL female dynasty but sending the letter to the entire holy trinity of female comedians is a must)
I would be a great addition to your posse. You see, I'm really funny and have a lot of charm. Sometimes my friends pee their pants and I don't even have to open my mouth. I worry about their dysfunctional bladders but Bernie says he's been giving Mildred her kidney medicine so she should be on the up-and-up. Although it can be quite embarrassing to go out with my ol' gal pals and their Poise panty lines, I have learned to take it more of a compliment and testament to my hilarity than anything. Attached is a list of jokes, scene ideas, my resumé and general quips that I think would add a wealth of toot-scootin-to-boot to the comedy writing process.
Just consider instating me, please and thank you.
Love,
Rebecca L. Asser

Now all I've got to do is cross my fingers, toes and legs and wish real hard.
editor's note: shout out to the most greatest Emma Kelly-Knickerbocker for helping conjure up this most finest idea.

Showbama Your Support

As Flagstaff citizens crowded themselves into their downtown theatre, I realized that being in America is pretty darn awesome. Now while the ads, political scheming and the slightly extravagant months leading up to the eve of election day are more than obnoxious, the high spirits that reverberated through the musty room were exhilarating.

And then a dance party broke out.

People Profile, Part 2: Lederhosen

Spotted: 

Flagstaff celebrates Oktober in German britches.

Just another über-hipster night.

Mildred Does the Olympics

Watching the Olympics with my 101 year old client inspires some of the most interesting commentary.

Here is just a tidbit of the funny things she says:

While watching women's volleyball
Mildred: "Are those afros on the American team?"
Me: "Yes, that's team USA"
Mildred: "I don't know..."

While watching women's water polo
"My, those are some big girls and some tiny swimsuits."

While watching men's volleyball
"There's some good looking men on the team. Oh, and then there are some not so good looking ones..."
"He must be Jewish, he's got a big nose and all"

Karnaval and the Klown

Montpellier came out to play for Karnaval 2012 on Tuesday night.

About five years ago the city cancelled the parade of crazies due to rowdiness. Since then, the rebellious hippy youth of Montpellier has organized a colorful counterculture celebration mixed with anarchist sentiments and silly costumes.

We followed a loud drum circle as well as a shredded fabric minstrel through the tiny streets and into the squares around the downtown area.

 Emma with the ever infamous Hugo : ex-anarchist clown

Fierce make-up for a fierce Sarah