Roommates : Girls Night In

A daily thought.

When Inspiration Strikes...

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"Spiritual progress is a spiral advance. We start as infants in the animal eternity of life in the moment, without anxiety for the future or regret for the past; we grow up into the specifically human condition of those who look before and after, who live to a great extent, not in the present but in memory and anticipation, not spontaneously but by rule and with prudence, in repentance and fear and hope; and we can continue, if we so desire, up and on in a returning sweep towards a point corresponding to our starting place in animality, but incommensurably above it. Once more life is lived in the moment -- the life now, not of a sub-human creature, but of a being in whom charity has cast out fear, vision has taken the place of hope, selflessness has put a stop to the positive egotism of complacent reminiscence and the negative egotism of remorse. The present moment is the only aperture through which the soul can pass out of time into eternity, through which grace can pass out of eternity into the soul and through which charity can pass from one soul in time to another soul in time."

- Aldous Huxley, The Perennial Philosophy

La poule mouillée

There's a point in time when it's no longer cool to run away from your problems. Perhaps it's when you're using a walker or maybe it's when you look like a wimp, but there's definitely a time.
Life comes at you. And you better deal. And you better stick up for yourself and heck, you might as well even get what you want.

So remember to cliff jump. And to go to the beach. And do things you like.

This has been a personal pep talk.

Merci pour ta considération.

The Importance of Being Cool

As I grow older and closer to maturity with my parents, I realize how flippin' cool they are. Not in the like "we still go to hip concerts and buy our kids whiskey on the weekend" way but more so in the actual cool way. As a parent you donate the rest of your life from the moment a six pound screaming bundle of joy is born to slinging diapers, paying for soccer camps and taming raging teenage hormones. And holy shit, that's pretty cool. That commitment to another hungry, and sometimes hangry being is probably the hardest thing one could ever do. So thanks Mom and Dad, for being so cool.

Senior Home Livin'

You know you work at a retirement home when…

The most action you got was an old man saying “How are you today, besides beautiful”.

You get called ‘cookie’ forty times an hour by a screeching Jewish woman with lipstick on her cheek.

You make a medal for a grouchy woman for being “The best walker and simultaneous ice cream eater” in order to motivate her to take her ice cream to her room so that you can go home on time.

Everyone complains that the coffee is too strong and not hot enough. 

“The chef is so nice! I wonder if he’s got a girlfriend” said woman 1

“ Oh stop it, it’s none of our business”, said woman 2. “I wouldn’t want to crawl in bed with him though, he’d take up the whole thing!”

“ You’re horrible, but I’ve wondered how that’d work...”, said woman 2

You let your farts flow free because there are eighty people who are four times your age you can blame it on.

Dear Comedy Writing

Now I'm not quite sure I've made it quite clear enough yet but I will now. Besides being a traveler, student, worker and general person, I'd also like to be a comedy writer. Like, I'd get to hang out with Liz Lemon all day, shoot the shit, be hilarious and then get paid for it. Like, I'd get to drink Snake Juice with Amy Poehler. Normally, I would say this is ridiculous and a compulsive dream dreamt by most awkward college educated women BUT what you don't know is that I have an 'in'. Now is the best time to strike. The time is now for a lady to develop her sense of humor and get rich; look at Girls, zero to going-to-the-Grammy's in one season flat. It's now or never and I'm ready to throw my two cents into the Fountain of Funny...

It's a manila folder containing my most finest jokes and it starts like this:

Dear Kristin Wiig, (editor's note: she seems the most approachable of the contemporary SNL female dynasty but sending the letter to the entire holy trinity of female comedians is a must)
I would be a great addition to your posse. You see, I'm really funny and have a lot of charm. Sometimes my friends pee their pants and I don't even have to open my mouth. I worry about their dysfunctional bladders but Bernie says he's been giving Mildred her kidney medicine so she should be on the up-and-up. Although it can be quite embarrassing to go out with my ol' gal pals and their Poise panty lines, I have learned to take it more of a compliment and testament to my hilarity than anything. Attached is a list of jokes, scene ideas, my resumé and general quips that I think would add a wealth of toot-scootin-to-boot to the comedy writing process.
Just consider instating me, please and thank you.
Love,
Rebecca L. Asser

Now all I've got to do is cross my fingers, toes and legs and wish real hard.
editor's note: shout out to the most greatest Emma Kelly-Knickerbocker for helping conjure up this most finest idea.

People Profile, Part 5: Phall

Mary and I have been exploring the aspens changing up on Mt. Humprey's. Mary is my other lady that I hang out with. Quite opposite of home-bound Mildred, I go exploring, get stuck on dirt roads and visit Sedona vortexes with Miss Mary. She has quite a wealth of knowledge about natural healing and every time we get together I learn something new. Hopefully one day I will be as eccentric as her.

People Profile, Part 3: Phalcon

Bryn, Annalise and I found this baby falcon on the streets of Prescott, Arizona.

People Profile, Part 1: Mildred

The next few posts will be a profile of my life in terms of the people that I come across, interact with or quickly snapped a picture of. There's a lot to be said for the faces we see everyday, or once.

Here is the infamous Mildred and her son, Loren. Mildred is 101 and while frail, she's got spark. I see her twice a week, every week and have know her for almost two whole years. Usually we play cards although lately the big fad has been crossword puzzles and Bonanza. She doesn't have a strong concept of time and a day is just another day for her. She has told me the same seven stories almost every week, each time she is as equally as joyous to tell me as the last time. So why not pretend it's the first time I've heard it too.

Prehipstoric (adj) :

They were cool before it was cool to be cool.

Mildred Does the Olympics

Watching the Olympics with my 101 year old client inspires some of the most interesting commentary.

Here is just a tidbit of the funny things she says:

While watching women's volleyball
Mildred: "Are those afros on the American team?"
Me: "Yes, that's team USA"
Mildred: "I don't know..."

While watching women's water polo
"My, those are some big girls and some tiny swimsuits."

While watching men's volleyball
"There's some good looking men on the team. Oh, and then there are some not so good looking ones..."
"He must be Jewish, he's got a big nose and all"

Things Mildred Says and Does...

One month being back in America and a lot has changed. I've gone from stumbling over complicated French phrasing to yelling simple sentences at little old ladies. I'm so grateful to have my old job back working with seniors. I get to once again visit my 100-year-old lady (who is now 101!).

When I was showing her pictures of my life in France on my Mac I asked her, "Have you ever seen anything like this before?"
She replied, "Why I've never seen a photo-show-er like this, no."
She stumbled over that noun that she didn't know existed, computer.
L'ordinateur in French.

And these little phenomenons make me think that maybe life hasn't changed all that much. 

It continues.

It's still about exploration, and learning, and words, and photo-show-ers.